I heard a beautiful woman today speak of her yearning for a great intimate relationship but said she felt like a ship out to sea with no rudder. I know this feeling.
She’d done so many workshops on sexuality and webinars and courses, and to my surprise, she still felt none of them gave her what she was wanting – a deep connection with herself and connection with her husband.
I hear this often. And I felt the same years ago. And I still do sometimes when I am not in my body. Usually it’s when I’m in my mind, have been in anxiety about something. I don’t feel feminine, I don’t feel alive, I don’t feel ‘on’.
At these times I have thought I need to do hours of emotional processing to ‘get’ to that place again, until I learnt a simple, beautiful way to return ‘home’. As soon as I am ‘home’ inside my body, everything changes. How I move, how I speak, how I show up.
The thing is that it’s of no great benefit if we just go there one day and then that’s it. Transformation is a continual practice of ever deepening awareness. It’s about returning ‘home’ in your body over and over. And the more you do that, the more you rest in that as a natural way of being.
And it is the same with making love. Yes it’s possible to make love with the mind. Close your eyes and imagine a fantasy and you can make love. But if you want a meaningful ‘connection’ with your partner that nourishes you, that is deeply meaningful as well as pleasurable and sustainable, then being out of your mind is a great entry point.
So I’m saying get out of your mind more!
So this weeks practice is, no matter what you are doing, to ask yourself over and over - “Am I out of my mind?’ And when you are, celebrate!! And if you are not, take a breath, close your eyes, go in and connect with your body, your heart, you dantien, your wombspace, whatever feels good. Even mental tasks flow more when you are more in your body.
And experiment speaking from there, walking from there, moving from there. And try it first before moving into making love. Connect to home inside first before you connect with the other. You will feel more present, more potent, more expanded.
We can learn all we want about tantra and sexuality and make the body do amazing things, but in the long run it’s the deep intimate connection firstly with our self and then with the other, that fulfills our deep natural human yearning for union.
If you are yearning for a deep intimate connection with your beloved, there’s still a couple of spaces for The Making Love Retreat for couples. Register today and make that commitment to love – for yourself, and your relationship.
Feminine Awakening Retreat 2017 yet to be released if this suits you more. Whether single or coupled, this is a must if you are a woman wanting to connect deeply with yourself, to nourish your body wisdom, while awakening the woman within. I tell you, this retreat will not disappoint. Reserve your space here.
P.S Your body is not broken. Menopause is a gateway, a privilege, a time to embrace change with grace and step into a life that is empowered, loving and alive. This is your birthright as a woman. You have been waiting for this all your life... Buy my book Tantric Sex and Menopause on Amazon AUS, Amazon US & Amazon UK.
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