As created by Diana Richardson, pioneer of the Slow Sex movement.
Are you an Invader or an Inviter?

I once heard a male friend say, "Oh I don't like all that tantric sh..t. All that looking into people's eyes. I can't stand it."

I was amused at his 'wipe the slate' interpretation about what Tantra really is and I also was amused for equally the opposite thing - because ... I got him. I really did.

All too often I have been in situations at workshops and groups over the years where people seem to make a competition of how long they can stand and eyeball you with all their love. Or hug you for what seems like eternity! .... And hey, I like hugs! All with good intentions I am sure.

Now I don't want to minimise the true authentic potential and depth that the meeting of the eyes has. (or long hugging for that matter). In fact, I am all for it. But let's get real.

There is a difference between invading someone's space, on even a subtle energetic level, and inviting them into a space ... of simplicity and love.

Are you an invader or an inviter? Until a level of trust and rapport has been established with another, it can be pretty awkard to try and create intimacy through extended and uninvited eye contact or getting close physically.

There has to be an opening first - a pathway, a softening, a yielding.

One of the most deceptively simple yet profound ways you can create intimacy as a couple through the eyes, is to first start with yourself ..... Try this little exercise... you'll see where I'm heading...

Instead of reaching out, looking out, you start to invert your attention, bring what you see back in to you. Sound strange?

Try it right now as you read. Consciously notice yourself looking AT the text, focussing all your attention OUT, as you normally would. Then take a breath in, energetically soften your eyes, even close your eyes momentarily, and open your eyes receiving IN what you see. It's subtle but really noticably different. And it's more relaxing.

Start doing this, as you move around in your daily activities.

Consciously inviting yourself to receive IN rather than look OUT. Imagine if you were looking at your partner in this way, with relaxed eyes. Imagine how they would receive it differently compared to you looking out intently at them, over in their space.

This is a beautiful way to invite the other into the space of intimacy. Rather than invading their space, be the invitation and move into making love from a completely different angle. You will notice the difference, believe me! It can be profound and very heart opening - 'the best forplay ever', as one man put it!

If you'd like to create a deeply connected, intimate relationship, come to the brand new OPENING TO LOVE RETREAT, 3 days and 4 nights to deepen intimacy and take the stress out of sex. Love to see you there. or call me on 0428 726 849

And if you are a woman who wants to immerse in your journey as a woman, come and join me for the 6 Month Womantime Immersion - where I share all my secrets in an intimate space for a small group of women. Click here for more info.

You can download this on Soundcloud.


P.S Your body is not broken. Menopause is a gateway, a privilege, a time to embrace change with grace and step into a life that is empowered, loving and alive.  This is your birthright as a woman.  You have been waiting for this all your life... Buy my book Tantric Sex and Menopause on Amazon AUSAmazon US & Amazon UK.