As created by Diana Richardson, pioneer of the Slow Sex movement.
Letting Love in

When Michelangelo was asked 'How did he create the David?', he said, "The form is already there, I just take away what it is not." 

My beautiful grand daughter reminds me of how we are born as a pure expression of love and innocence and then as we grow older, we seem to develop ways of hiding away this love, as protection or survival. I wonder at who she will be in twenty years time. How will life mould her.

I wonder if our purpose is to be the loving sculptor, to remember this love and find ways to allow what isn't love to fall away, to let down our guard, to reveal who we really are.

Right now, in your current life, how much are you holding back your love? Or not letting love in?

There's a difference between appearing loving, and truly BEING LOVE.

Do you subtly put up a barrier to love?

There are often good reasons for that. But as a default pattern of protection, it prevents the flow of love to a degree.

The thing is that in the process, we don't even let the love into our own hearts for ourselves.

It hurts to hold back love. In fact it aches. 

And it hurts to hold up a barrier to love. Actually it’s exhausting.

The ego is always working so hard creating ways to preserve the body, or mind, or emotional being and that puts such a load on the nervous system.

It is our resistance to love, or protecting against love, or our stopping of love, that is hard work!

In the safety of the environment of the last making Love Retreat in Switzerland, I had a profound experience of this. The retreat was kind of sculpting away on my soul, I couldn't hold back anymore. The protection fell away in an avalanche of tears one day. I was left feeling as innocent and as sweet as a small child. It was like I had been cleansed, or purified and only Love was left, that sweet pure innocence.

And it hasn't left me.

Now when I tune in, I can honestly say I feel love from my fingertips to my nose, from my heart to my toes, right inside every cell of my body.

And it hasn’t gone away. I say this with great humility - I now know, not as a theory, but viscerally, integrally, that I AM LOVE and that my body is innocent.

My body is pure.

My body is LOVE.

You are this too.

And to go into sexual intimacy from this innocence, this sweetness, this purity, this love, is a whole other thing. THIS transforms you. This is what lifts you to a higher love. This and more is our potential. This is YOUR potential.

If you are in a couple and feel it's time to transform your relationship, deepen your love and inspire your life, come to The Making Love Retreat . If you are a woman, single or partnered, and you ache to feel and embody this love, and yearn to feel empowered in your femininity join us at Womantime Retreat

Is it time to value yourself and your relationships?

How do you hold back your love, to yourself, to others?


P.S Your body is not broken. Menopause is a gateway, a privilege, a time to embrace change with grace and step into a life that is empowered, loving and alive.  This is your birthright as a woman.  You have been waiting for this all your life... Buy my book Tantric Sex and Menopause on Amazon AUSAmazon US & Amazon UK.

Recent Comments 

Hi Janet, I came here today – many months after your post – via a link I had saved on my computer…an interview you had made with Diana. This past Spring I found myself in a true love relationship at the age of 62. He is 64. This discovery of the innocence of my body, in and as love, has touched me so….and yes, the barrier to love is still present, in the form of some old layers of fear. Each layer can be met in the love I am able to feel in me, as a kind of deep acceptance and compassion for myself, and gratitude to be meeting another in such a way. I could never have imagined myself capable to receive and give in this intimate way, before now.
I hold back love because of my fear not to orgasm without effort. As if orgasm is a proof of being a sexually healthy woman. Now I have been letting go of the huge efforting I have known in the past to have an orgasm with him. I just keep relaxing into myself, into my body, letting it be touched and loved. I don’t want to be stimulated clitorally toward orgasm because there I meet my own fear not to be able to open to (his) love. Fear that there is something I need to know that I don’t know…After a long and relaxed warming up, I have had the chance to feel his touch as love, simply as love, and I continue to experience the simple and deep joy that my body holds, feeling love and being loved this way. My whole body resonates with this vibration of love.
Tantra seems to have discovered us and I am wanting more than anything to stay open to this love and to continue to relax all the effort to have something to prove. It is indeed an undoing, such a graceful undoing….. I’ve signed up for your continued musings. I appreciate the way you are expressing your experience on this journey.

Your comment made me smile all the way through Barbara. Thank you for this beautiful sharing. Such truth spoken here, very inspiring, Janet.


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