As I've grown older and going through the changes as a post-menopausal woman, I can't say that I have escaped body image issues through my years or that I was that artful at not passing this on as a young Mum. I'm sad about this. Yet it's so common. Even with the best of intentions, somehow our children absorb it, if not from the overculture around us.
Birthing my two children changed me forever.
I am not one to use goddess clichés as I think that word has become a soulless commodity of the new age, but I have to say that at 30 years of age, while birthing my second child at home, I felt the full girth of the goddess move through me like a force
As the years have gone on, there's one distinction that has become clearer and clearer to me around this crazy thing called Love.
And that is the pathway to sexual intimacy, well at least one with depth and sweetness - is through emotional intimacy and connection.
And by emotional intimacy, I don't mean becoming highly emotional and then making love to 'make it better'. I mean tender, heart connected, verbal and non-verbal,...
You're both mutually attracted to each other. The passion has run high. But somewhere along the line, things changed. He wants it. You don't. She wants it. You don't.
Games and avoidances start to be played. One constantly moves towards the other for intimacy. And the other just wants to run a mile!
This can be the point where a relationship falls over or falters. For the intrepid traveller of inquiry and personal growth, this can be a challenge that can bring both of you either to new heights or bring you to your knees.
One that calls for a deepened maturity, the point where the one who wants to run, can meet the resistence or the one who is always moving towards, finds a way to healthily and lovingly contain (not suppress) your powerful desire to connect. Neither are wrong. That's the important thing to know. Neither.
It's good to realise that there IS NOTHING wrong with either. But how you RESPOND is what makes all the difference and will be the difference between breaking down the relationship or creating more building blocks and foundation for healthy intimacy.
One of the major challenges that women face in menopause and peri menopause is their desire for sex.
I had a call recently from a dear woman who has enjoyed a healthy and loving sex life for years with her husband. Now, in menopause, she was devastated as she said that sex was too painful.
It's reassuring to know for both partners that this is not uncommon. But also it doesn't have to be this way.
Resonating with this?
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