THE MAKING LOVE RETREAT
As created by Diana Richardson, pioneer of the Slow Sex movement.

Topic: "men"

Touch is a force.

Touch is a force.

To approach the body with sensitivity and awareness is a rare thing and yet it’s what every ‘body’ is craving for.

Touch, with presence. It’s the most life-giving, life-saving resource we can offer to our loved ones and those around us.

Yet, in our society generally, the body just doesn’t receive enough safe, loving, respectful, non-intentional touch. 

Touch is the first communication that we have in our world. The power of touch, and...

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I have a Dream

I have a Dream

2020. The year of crumbling, also the year of opening. Opening doors that were perhaps closed.

Intimacy is about opening doors. Doors that have been shut for too long. Doors that need a little prying open. Doors that need the hinges oiled with love and understanding, so they open more easily.

Never before has the human connection been more important than now. The heart, compassion, understanding, empathy, even more potently needed. We...

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When Men Close Down

When Men Close Down

For years I have written about women closing down sexually. I'm kind of known for it.

But the thing is that men close down too. We all do - it is not necessarily gender specific.

It's just that men usually have naturally high testosterone, rising by 800% in a boy's teens, which makes him highly sexually driven, also give that it is his dymanic pole, in a Tantric sense.

Testosterone can remain high until his 50's - 60's and still quite a reasonable level into his 70's, as long as he is healthy.

But some men find that they have absolutley no drive for sex and no erection at all, even at younger ages - 30's - 40's. And the heart breaking thing is - like women, is that they don't want to be closed....

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The Secret You Always Knew

The Secret You Always Knew

"I knew this all along but I didn't trust it", she said, with her eyes welling up with tears, both in disbelief and in relief.

For how many years had she abandoned herself? Ten, twenty, thirty?

If only she knew then what she knows now. Would it, could it have been any different?

It's as if this something was already hidden within her body, within her very genetics. They knew. The body knew.

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He didn't think it would be this way ...

He didn't think it would be this way ...

He didn't think it would be this way...

It was that one thing she said.

Shame had coursed through his veins so hard that day. It was unbearable.

Shame at his own natural urges, his own simple desire for love, his own yearning for her soft sweet skin against his. And now it had turned to...

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Are you stuck?

Are you stuck?

I used to feel annoyed when people would say, ‘Oh, your creative energy is connected to your sexual energy.’ It’s just that your second chakra is stuck – oh please!

Until …. I experienced it for myself. See, I am a bit of a sceptic. Until I experience something for myself, I don’t really believe.

However – energy is energy – there’s no one separate energy for this and one energy for that – it’s all one.

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Libido - High or Low?

Libido - High or Low?

You're both mutually attracted to each other. The passion has run high. But somewhere along the line, things changed. He wants it. You don't. She wants it. You don't.

Games and avoidances start to be played. One constantly moves towards the other for intimacy. And the other just wants to run a mile!

This can be the point where a relationship falls over or falters. For the intrepid traveller of inquiry and personal growth, this can be a challenge that can bring both of you either to new heights or bring you to your knees.

One that calls for a deepened maturity, the point where the one who wants to run, can meet the resistence or the one who is always moving towards, finds a way to healthily and lovingly contain (not suppress) your powerful desire to connect. Neither are wrong. That's the important thing to know. Neither.

It's good to realise that there IS NOTHING wrong with either. But how you RESPOND is what makes all the difference and will be the difference between breaking down the relationship or creating more building blocks and foundation for healthy intimacy.

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Porn or Pawn? The latest on Porn, Kids and Relationships in Australia

Porn or Pawn? The latest on Porn, Kids and Relationships in Australia

The use of Pornography must be one of the most polarising subjects around when it comes to sexuality and relationships.

Shrouded in secrecy, both women and men, silent for their own reasons - men for their shame and guilt. (Men more commonly use Pornography more than women)

And women, for their feelings of betrayal and shame that they are 'not enough' for their husband, who has to resort to porn to satisfy him.

A sense of failure prevails for both. Deep wounding is triggered and is created fresh in the moment, as each click drives another relationship to the wall.

(Please note some aspects of this post may offend)

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Sensitive Men and Performance Pressure

Sensitive Men and Performance Pressure

I was speaking with a client the other day, who was completely confused at what happened when she was dating a man she actually really liked. They had only been going out a short time – a few dates and they made love a couple of times. It was 'delicious' as she said. Her whole being wanted to be with him and she was looking forward to the next time.

 

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Sexual Vulnerability

Sexual Vulnerability

What is it to be sexually vulnerable in a relationship?

A strange question. Who wants to be sexually vulnerable? It implies being used, being abused, even being open to things that you just don't resonate with. Or going along with the current trends that are being normalised through online porn or movies. To feeling defenceless, weakness, being unprotected. To me, it doesn't mean that at all. Let's take a deeper look.

Bringing those two words together – sex and vulnerability seems scary. And it’s a bridge that many don’t want to cross. Especially for women, but also for men. In a way though, women are already sexually vulnerable just by their very physical nature.

But to put it into the context of a relationship, being sexually vulnerable means leaving aside the mind games we play to protect ourselves, to get love, to perform, or perhaps look a certain way to our partner.

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