Twenty years ago, we never heard the term, 'Narcissist'.
Only in myths. Now everyone is talking about Narcissism, and thank god it's happening. I think it's been the hidden cause of serious relationship problems and sadly, abuse that has been left unchecked. But the narcissist can be right under our own roof. The more subtle ones. And how I wish I knew about this back in my 20's, 30's, and 40's.
I really am a hopeless romantic. But I'm a cracker when it comes to Valentine's Day. I've seen more conflicts and disappointments from expectations not being met than I think it's worth.
To me, make every day a celebration of your relationship. And the greatest gift you can give your partner, your lover, is your PRESENCE.
I don't mean, 'well I'm here. Isn't that being present?' No I mean, full-bodied, full open-hearted,...
It's no doubt that 2021 has been a challenge for many, if not all of us. The pressure on relationships is off the Richter scale.
On all types of relationships - friendships, partnerships, love-ships, family-ships, work-ships. Many types of ships.
And the thing about ships is that at the moment, many are all out to sea. With no rudder, no mainstay, no land in sight, and no lifeboats left.
We are being tossed...
I've seen a lot in my almost 40 years of personal growth and more than 20 years of psychotherapy.
The changes, the trends, the breakthroughs in relationship and trauma theory have reshaped therapeutic environments. And I've seen a lot in my time of exploration into the subject of sexuality and relationship I can tell you.
And, what I have witnessed and been prey to at times, in the name of 'personal growth'...
It's a crazy time right now. In Australia, the level of fear in the air seems to be heightening. There's an agitation, a fragility in many. Are you being pulled into it or are you able to remain buoyant?
This low-level anxiety affects our nervous systems and ultimately can affect our relationships. We are at survival in some ways. And our primal brain (survival brain) responds to this fight-flight. Stress and...
For years I have written about women closing down sexually. I'm kind of known for it.
But the thing is that men close down too. We all do - it is not necessarily gender specific.
It's just that men usually have naturally high testosterone, rising by 800% in a boy's teens, which makes him highly sexually driven, also give that it is his dymanic pole, in a Tantric sense.
Testosterone can remain high until his 50's - 60's and still quite a reasonable level into his 70's, as long as he is healthy.
But some men find that they have absolutley no drive for sex and no erection at all, even at younger ages - 30's - 40's. And the heart breaking thing is - like women, is that they don't want to be closed....
There's an acceleration of consciousness sweeping the planet right now. Can you feel that?
Things that were 'fringe' 30 years ago are now mainstream.
Conversations that were behind closed doors are now open and in the nightly news - abuse, depression, anxiety, sex offenders and narcissistic leaders being called out etc etc.
The world is now wanting authenticity. Not a glossed version of 'I have it all together' - it's about realness.
There's one real conversation that I am glad is being had now too and it's about another change - 'the' change - yes the change women go through anywhere from their late 30's, 40's, 50's. Menopause, peri-menopause.
There's nothing more real than your body changing unexpectedly or even gradually - looking down at it and seeing what once was up is now down!
It is surely a complex world we live in.
There's a new Australian 4 part series on SBS on Thursday night called The Hunting, which has prompted this post as I saw the first episode last Thursday evening. Woh... It's a chilling reminder of what our teenagers are currently faced with in teenage sex and relationships and demands the viewer to see things from every angle. What is 'normalised'...
We live in interesting times ...
I remember the early 90's, sitting in the Lyric Theatre in Brisbane, when the evocative Canadian Celtic singer, Loreena McKennit walked on stage. She had two sets of gigantuan candelabras either side of the stage, topped with huge thick candles, alighting the space with dramatic overtones. She walked in with her long golden hair and sat at her massive sculptural masterpiece of a harp. I felt transported to a heavenly realm and moved to tears by her mesmerising music and haunting vocals, and then... she began to speak.
"Tomorrow is a big day," she said. "The World Wide Web will open. It's the day that is going to change the world." She seemed to know what it would mean.
Resonating with this?
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