As the years have gone on, there's one distinction that has become clearer and clearer to me around this crazy thing called Love.
And that is the pathway to sexual intimacy, well at least one with depth and sweetness - is through emotional intimacy and connection.
And by emotional intimacy, I don't mean becoming highly emotional and then making love to 'make it better'. I mean tender, heart connected, verbal and non-verbal,...
You're both mutually attracted to each other. The passion has run high. But somewhere along the line, things changed. He wants it. You don't. She wants it. You don't.
Games and avoidances start to be played. One constantly moves towards the other for intimacy. And the other just wants to run a mile!
This can be the point where a relationship falls over or falters. For the intrepid traveller of inquiry and personal growth, this can be a challenge that can bring both of you either to new heights or bring you to your knees.
One that calls for a deepened maturity, the point where the one who wants to run, can meet the resistence or the one who is always moving towards, finds a way to healthily and lovingly contain (not suppress) your powerful desire to connect. Neither are wrong. That's the important thing to know. Neither.
It's good to realise that there IS NOTHING wrong with either. But how you RESPOND is what makes all the difference and will be the difference between breaking down the relationship or creating more building blocks and foundation for healthy intimacy.
One of the major challenges that women face in menopause and peri menopause is their desire for sex.
I had a call recently from a dear woman who has enjoyed a healthy and loving sex life for years with her husband. Now, in menopause, she was devastated as she said that sex was too painful.
It's reassuring to know for both partners that this is not uncommon. But also it doesn't have to be this way.
Last week it was my father's birthday. He would have been 91. It reminded me of the days before he passed in January 2015, when I would sit silently with him.
Watching his closed eyes, seeing him breathe in and out quietly and gently, while stroking his body or holding his hand, my eyes would moisten. I was so moved as I contemplated the pure love of this man I could proudly call my Dad.
One of the biggest complaints I hear from couples at The Making Love Retreat and from clients is that they are time poor.
‘We want to make love but we just don’t have the time.’ It is true that fulfilling lovemaking does require time. But when we do finally make love we are often in a hurry to get it over and done with, to get to the end, the goal, the orgasm.
Always striving towards something in a hurried way often means we are not really present. We are ahead of ourselves. Also if we don’t orgasm, with the downward release of energy, then we think it’s not really sex.
Women are in distress ...
Resonating with this?
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