It's a crazy time right now. In Australia, the level of fear in the air seems to be heightening. There's an agitation, a fragility in many. Are you being pulled into it or are you able to remain buoyant?
This low-level anxiety affects our nervous systems and ultimately can affect our relationships. We are at survival in some ways. And our primal brain (survival brain) responds to this fight-flight. Stress and...
'Why can I not reach her anymore?'. This is the question so many men are asking me lately.
I am seeing a change in men generally these days. Their bewilderment engenders humility. Their hearts are aching to love and to see their partner shine again.
I see this in their faces as they arrive on the first night of the Making Love Retreat, downhearted and confused. Sometimes years of tears ready...
I see it with some women after relationship losses or long periods of being in a relationship.
The pull to be bitter is seductive. If you weaken, you will be sucked into its sticky web.
Don’t do it.
It’s not who you are.
You are love.
And whatever you can do to swim against those waves that want to take you out into that...
'Heartbreak is how we mature. It is as inescapable and inevitable as breathing. Even the longest marriage has it's heartbroken many times, even in the act of just staying together.'
Wise words from one of my favourite contemporary poets, David Whyte.
I see it all the time. A large part of the maturing of a relationship rests on how well we repair from upheavals and disappointments. Some relationships survive it. Others do not.
A wise mentor said to me once, 'A relationship can be for a reason, a season or a lifetime'.
I think the event of birth and it’s subsequent effects on a woman’s body is one of the most underestimated natural disturbances and trauma on the female body and psyche that she may ever have. And on her willingness and physical ability to re-engage in sexual intercourse afterwards.
I cannot count the number of women who have sat with me and said it. 'It all changed after I had children'.
Very early one morning in February I was interviewed by a beautiful couple, Nicola Foster and Jason Porthouse in the UK for their podcast, Intimacy Matters.
I think I am the most relaxed I've ever been in any interview here, having known Nicola before. I'd met Nicola, a Relationship therapist, while attending The Making Love Retreat some 8 years ago in Europe.
We cover a heap of territory from...
To approach the body with sensitivity and awareness is a rare thing and yet it’s what every ‘body’ is craving for.
Touch, with presence. It’s the most life-giving, life-saving resource we can offer to our loved ones and those around us.
Yet, in our society generally, the body just doesn’t receive enough safe, loving, respectful, non-intentional touch.
Touch is the first communication that we have in our world. The power of touch, and...
2020. The year of crumbling, also the year of opening. Opening doors that were perhaps closed.
Intimacy is about opening doors. Doors that have been shut for too long. Doors that need a little prying open. Doors that need the hinges oiled with love and understanding, so they open more easily.
Never before has the human connection been more important than now. The heart, compassion, understanding, empathy, even more potently needed. We...
There's an acceleration of consciousness sweeping the planet right now. Can you feel that?
Things that were 'fringe' 30 years ago are now mainstream.
Conversations that were behind closed doors are now open and in the nightly news - abuse, depression, anxiety, sex offenders and narcissistic leaders being called out etc etc.
The world is now wanting authenticity. Not a glossed version of 'I have it all together' - it's about realness.
There's one real conversation that I am glad is being had now too and it's about another change - 'the' change - yes the change women go through anywhere from their late 30's, 40's, 50's. Menopause, peri-menopause.
There's nothing more real than your body changing unexpectedly or even gradually - looking down at it and seeing what once was up is now down!
Have you ever been speaking with someone, and they are completely away somewhere else? Have you ever done that yourself?
Or you have been so emotionally charged about something, or so stressed that you simply are not 'here' when someone is trying to connect with you?
After many years with couples and in my own experience, I have come to observe three important keys to creating more emotional and sexual intimacy in relationships. I call them the '3 P's'.
Resonating with this?
Join me for event updates, news and musings: